A Woman’s Guide to Having It All: Meaningful Career, Dream Home in the Best Neighborhood, Perfect Family, Fit Body
Sorry to ruin the ending, but the truth is you just can’t do it all. And you know what, that’s okay. Life can be really tough and chasing perfection will often leave you feeling burnt out or depressed (or maybe both). We scroll through social media, constantly comparing our lives to the carefully curated highlights we see — from looking perfect and dressing perfectly, to cooking balanced meals and having a picture-perfect family, complete with coordinated outfits in staged photos. And let me tell you – comparison truly is the thief of joy.
As I write this, it’s not like I have mastered this either. As a wife, mother to three active kids, and full-time Realtor (in what’s been in one way or another, a volatile real estate market since back in 2020), I constantly struggle with feeling inadequate trying to be and do allll the things. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. I have, however, found a few mental and practical tactics that have helped me a little along the way and maybe they will help you, too!
Set Realistic Goals (and Let Some Go)
It’s impossible to give 100% to every area of your life all at once. (You’ll hear more about this at the end). Some seasons might be about advancing your career, while others are for slowing down and savoring family. And that’s okay.
- Have you ever tried journaling? If not full-blown journaling, try writing things down. Start with answering this question: In the season of life I’m in, what is most important to me? Not as a wife, mother, or career-driven woman…but as a human.
- Once you’ve written down a few things that mean the most for where you are right now, then write down a few ways each week to fill that bucket.
- Chances are, your daily actions already align with what means the most to you right now. Seeing it written down will surprisingly bring you peace. You might just realize that all the craziness you’re feeling is actually what you want to be doing in this season of life. If not, it will draw attention to small changes you could make to bring happiness to your heart each day.
Prioritize Quality Over Quantity
You don’t need hours of uninterrupted time with your kids, spouse, or friends to make meaningful connections. Offering (or having someone’s) undivided attention even for a short amount of time is a game changer.
- Be intentional about walking away from distractions and focusing on the people you love. Putting your phone down for a heartfelt chat over dinner can mean the world.
- Have teenagers? Just expect them to walk in at 10pm wanting to connect with you. You may be tired, but this is when they want to talk. Be ready and connect with them on their time!
- Speaking of quality over quantity, social media tells us we need a whole crew of friends. We need the girls nights out, hot girl outfits, and weekends away without the kids or men, but I am here to tell you…..you need ONE good friend. Just one good friend can change everything for you.
Set Yourself Up For Success!
Sometimes it’s hard to juggle all we have to do and keeping the balls in the air feels almost impossible. And I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying that a cluttered space is a sign of a cluttered mind. So not only is clutter a physical distraction — it can also take a toll on your mental health. A disorganized space often leads to feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed, making it harder to relax and focus. Between work and kids, I feel like I’m running constantly most days. I’ve had to find ways to streamline processes in order to improve my mental health. Let’s talk about some practical tips that just might help you throughout the week.
- Take small steps to declutter, like organizing one drawer at a time. Got a few hours? Put on some music and clean out your closets. It’s amazing how much piles up, making it challenging to find things. Doing this helps you create a more peaceful environment, which helps your mind unwind. Plus, a clutter-free home is easier to maintain, giving you more time and energy for the things you love.
- A place for everything and everything in its place. Be intentional about putting things where they go when you take them off, bring them in, etc. Taking off shoes after work? Put them in a bin for shoes. Got a stack of important mail you need to keep up with? Create a cubby for that. Whatever you do, don’t just lay things around on floors and counters. The more you lay down in open spaces, the more cluttered you (and your mind) feel.
- Sunday is the perfect reset day. My Sundays are all the same – church, grocery shopping, cleaning out the fridge, and meal prepping. Someone once told me how helpful it was cleaning out the fridge every Sunday and I thought they were crazy. Who has time to clean their fridge out every Sunday? But I needed my life to be a little easier, so I was willing to try. So I hopped on wal-mart.com, ordered some clear bins for same-day delivery, and got started pulling everything out of the fridge. Now it’s a habit, goes pretty quickly, and starts my week off a little bit ahead.
- Prep, prep, prep. After you clean out the fridge, restock it neatly. I always wash and cut all of my fruits and veggies for the week on Sundays. Tip: I store my fruits and veggies in mason jars and they stay so fresh throughout the week!
- Get your meals ready for the week. I write out my meal plan and prep anything I can. It’s amazing how much the little head start can help you out on a busy weeknight when you’re juggling kids and extracurriculars.
Shonda Rimes said it best in her Dartmouth Commencement speech: “As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder … as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question “How do you do it all?” For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it’s just us. Because it’s our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth. Shonda, how do you do it all? The answer is this: I don’t. Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.”
